


Handling Conflicts between Cats and Dogs

by Maldoror_Chant



Category: One Piece
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 05:06:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12291882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maldoror_Chant/pseuds/Maldoror_Chant
Summary: Vice Admiral Garp gets a complaint from another government agency about his handling of the Straw Hat matter. He'll manage the situation with discretion and tact. Or not.(Timeline: Right after the Water 7 arc and Garp's decision to let Luffy and co sail away scot free. Another branch of the government has questions about this...)





	Handling Conflicts between Cats and Dogs

Coby was walking along the hallway at proper Marine march-step when he was shouldered aside. So was Helmeppo, who was worse off for carrying a tray of the Vice Admiral's Morning Brew (one part coffee that could be used to caulk hulls, two parts cheap brandy). The whole mug went down his front when the man coming up behind them shoved the young sergeant out of his way. 

While Helmeppo jumped up and down and tried to peel his drenched vest away from his chest, Coby managed to turn around in the right direction to see the stranger's back recede down the hall. He caught a glance of a deliberate stride with the faintest trace of a limp; long black hair falling over strong shoulders and a black jacket. The man was heading straight towards the office door as if he hadn't even noticed he'd plowed through a pair of marines to get there. Shouldn't Garp's secretary be with him? Civilians weren't allowed to wander around the Command Level of the Marines base without being accompanied.

"Sir? Wait- are you expected?" 

The rude fellow didn't break his stride. He must have an appointment, or Garp's bodyguard would have stopped him. Right? 

"Sir?" Coby took two quick steps after him as the man reached for the doorknob.

"It's okay, he knows the Vice Admiral," said someone right behind Coby, who proceeded to jump out of his skin. He hadn't heard the second man approach any more than the first.

The second civilian was dressed in black as well, with a cap on his head pulled down low that couldn't hide the length of his squarish nose. He was unarmed, Coby noted automatically - but Bogart, Garp's formidable bodyguard, was stationed at the entrance to the Command Level and would have stopped these people if they'd had any weapons on them. The stranger brushed past Coby with a distracted "Excuse me", his eyes intent on the door to Garp's office. 

Coby and a grumbling Helmeppo trailed the two strangers into the Admiral's sanctum. There was something about this situation that the young Master Sergeant didn't like. He'd been almost sure the Admiral didn't have any appointments on his agenda today...

The first man was standing right in front of the desk. Garp was on the other side, fast asleep in his chair with one foot planted on the paperwork Coby had given him to review by ten o'clock this morning, latest. 

The stranger put his hands on the desk and leaned forward. "Garp."

The Admiral snored once, smacked his lips and cracked open an eye.

"Lucci? What are you doing here? I heard the Straw Hat kid handed you your buns. You should be in the hospital."

"You should be in the morgue," the man said with no particular intonation to that bald statement. "That's where I'd expect to find you if you'd gone up against him. But I'm told you decided not to fight this particular pirate. Care to explain why?"

Helmeppo stopped wiping at the coffee stain and put his hand on the hilts of his kukri blades instead. "What's going on?" he asked Coby in a low voice. Coby didn't know, but he was watching attentively and with considerable hostility. He hadn't like the man's tone.

Garp yawned widely. "Who, the Straw Hat brat? Yeah, he ran off before we could catch him."

The man's eyes narrowed. "That's not what I was told." 

"Oh?" Garp closed his eyes again as if intending to go back to his nap.

"Your men are remarkably loyal to you, Garp, but I've heard rumors. Disturbing rumors."

Dread punched Coby in the chest. Did this man know about Luffy-san's relation to Vice Admiral Garp?

Garp shrugged. "A Marine base without rumors is like a ship without rats. If you don't want to hear disturbing stuff, then stop skulking around in the shadows listening to what ain't your business."

"The Straw Hats are my business." The words were cold, dispassionate, measured out like a strangler's noose. They made Coby's skin crawl. "I know you arrived at Water 7 days earlier than your report indicated. I know you actually met him. You had him in your grasp. And you let him - get - away."

Garp stared at him and then a loud bark of laughter shook the windows. "Damn! That kid must have really flattened you to get you this riled! I'd have paid a year's salary to see that fight!"

At first Coby thought the dark-haired man hadn't reacted at all; then a small crackling crunch drew his attention to Garp's desk where the man's fingers had sunk straight through the wood.

The second man, who'd stopped a few feet behind the first, lifted a hand to the other's shoulder but hesitated as if even he didn't want to risk touching this Lucci fellow right now...and all of Coby's alarms were going off at this point. He glanced at Helmeppo and they both walked silently to one side of the room where they could dart forward and put themselves between the Admiral and these men in an instant if they had to.

"Where did they go?" Lucci asked, tone still leaden. If he was angry, only the holes drilled into the desk showed it.

"Hell if I know." Garp wiped tears from his eyes and reached for his pipe. "That's one fine ship they have. My boys followed them a little ways, but the pirates had too much of a head start."

"A head start you gave them." 

Garp scratched his beard and grinned evenly. "Is that what you were told? Blow me down, boy, I hope you use better sources of information than that when you do that bloody job of yours, or else I'm gettin' concerned."

"Sir, don't you have any idea where they went?" The second man spoke quickly, an eye on the way Lucci's lips had risen in a silent snarl. "They destroyed Enies Lobby, you can't possibly-"

"Way I heard it, the Buster Call destroyed Enies Lobby. That'd be a dictionary definition of shooting ourselves in the foot." Garp tamped down on a plug of black tobacco, as foul and strong as his coffee. "And the brat _still_ got away. Despite you trying to stop him. That's okay, Lucci, I'm sure you did your best. Now, if you're done here-"

"We're far from done, Garp," the man growled. A real growl, not a figure of speech; a low, dangerously feral murmur. Weird, Coby hadn't noticed the man's eyes were such a strange golden color, he could have sworn they were black a minute ago-

The office door slammed open. "Hey, Lucci, it's getting a little busy out there. And what do I do with this guy?"

A third stranger dressed in black sauntered in; bigger and bulkier than the other two, bearded with long plaited hair, narrow eyes and a sneer. Coby automatically noted the 'Wanted Poster' details as he'd been trained to do, before focusing all his attention and his fury on the way Bogart dangled like a rag doll from the man's hand.

Helmeppo's kukri shot out of their scabbards with a hiss of metal. Coby was already halfway across the room, using Soru to hurl himself at the criminal closest to the Admiral.

Something caught him by the throat and hauled him back so hard he saw stars. Coby choked. He could hear Helmeppo shouting incoherently right next to his ear.

When Coby blinked the red splotches away from his vision, he was back where he'd started, at the far side of the room. The Admiral and Lucci were still eyeing each other across the width of the desk. It was the long-nosed intruder who'd somehow gotten _behind_ Coby and Helmeppo and was holding them both by the neck, forcing them almost to their knees. He wasn't even paying that much attention to the two young marines in his grasp. Behind the man's neutral expression, Coby could discern a faint degree of concern as he watched Lucci and Garp face off. Now that Coby was up close to him, he could see there were bandages beneath the black top; the man's face had a pale cast typical of recent blood loss and injury. Good.

Coby spun as much as he could in the neck-hold and slammed his fist against the arm holding Helmeppo. His friend twisted instantly into the opening and plunged his kukri right into the man's chest.

The blade slit cloth and then spun away like it'd hit plate armor, nearly taking Coby's ear off on the rebound. What the hell?!

The man glanced down at them. "Please don't do that again," he said in an absent-minded way that was a lot scarier than a threat. He didn't even bother removing Helmeppo's kukri. Helmeppo waved the weapons around aimlessly before giving Coby a bewildered look.

The office door closed. The third man, still holding Garp's bodyguard - who Coby prayed was only unconscious - gave the two young marines an incurious look, as if they were just another set of filing cabinets.

"Who are you people?!" Coby shouted, trying to break the hold on his neck. It was like steel, and getting mercilessly tighter the more he struggled, a silent warning to behave.

"Oh, that's right! I haven't introduced you guys." Garp glanced over at his subordinates as if he'd only just noticed them. "Boys, pay attention! You have standing before you the living proof that right and wrong ain't as simple as you were taught in school. I'd give you names, but then they'd have to kill you. Ain't that so, Lucci?"

Helmeppo's eyes bugged out. "D-didn't he just say his name?" 

Coby closed his eyes briefly. One of these days, his superior officer _would_ learn the meaning of the word discretion, hopefully before his young sergeants died of cumulative stress. 

"Oh, damn, was I not supposed to say that?" Garp scratched the back of his head. "I can't name your two buddies, though, since I don't know who the hell they are; just a couple of goons who barged into my office and hassled my people, as far as I'm concerned."

"We're going to do a good deal more than hassle them, Garp," Lucci said. "You and your men are in serious trouble. Collusion with the enemy is treason."

A match flame licked at the tobacco in the pipe. Between puffs, Garp mumbled, "That sure sounds serious...Lucci...but before you come into my office...and throw big words around...got any proof? 'Cause with a Vice Admiral...you actually have to follow due process for once...Sucks to be you..." 

"I can get that proof."

"Under what mandate? Got a lil' note from the Supreme Admiral, do you? You CP9 creeps are allowed to badger the rest of the population, but you ain't got the right to conduct an investigation into a military matter. Especially with the knife-in-the-back tactics you boys like so much."

Lucci's next words were too quiet for Coby to catch. They made Garp bellow with laughter again. "A kid like you?! Talk big when you've lived another thirty years, Lucci."

"Sir, we're not here to fight," the man holding Coby and Helmeppo said quickly. "We just-"

"Oh?" Garp puffed out a rank cloud of black smoke and gave the long-nosed man an unfriendly look over his shoulder. "Tell me that again when you're not one twitch away from crushing my boys' necks over there."

"At this point, I'm saving their lives," the intruder said, with a glance at Lucci whose golden eyes were still riveted on Garp.

"Yeah, I'm sure you are, and don't that say something right there." 

The man seemed momentarily silenced by the old marine's words, then he tried again. "Vice Admiral Garp, I don't understand your attitude. We're all on the same side-"

"Are we?" Coby had never heard his commanding officer speak in such a grim tone before. "Are we really? I got five hundred dead marines who say otherwise."

"Five hundred cowards who surrendered to pirates without a fight." Lucci straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest. "They deserved to die. There's no half measures, Garp. It was true fifteen years ago and it's true today."

Garp broke into a broad, toothy smile that made Coby want to run away very fast. The Vice Admiral slowly stood up to his full height, and suddenly the intruders didn't seem quite so intimidating.

"Lucci, I am very glad you said that. It means I don't have to be polite any more. So let me make myself really clear. I don't like what you do. I don't like what you represent. I don't like the people you work for - how is Spandam, by the way? I was going to send him flowers at the hospital, but I decided to send them to the Ohara girl who put him in a full body cast instead. The note read 'Nice One'. Now, where was I. Oh yeah, I don't like the fact that you and I work for the same government, and I just thank god you're not anywhere _near_ the Marine hierarchy. I hope you liked using that Buster Call, boys; you won't be given another one. Finally, I don't like the fact that you say you work for the same justice I do. And in case this wasn't clear, Lucci, I really, _really_ don't like you. Now, I got nothing more to say to you, so get out of my office before I grab you by the scruff of the neck and put you out like a cat dirtying the carpet."

Coby would have felt much better if the man threatened the Admiral at that point, or yelled or even tried to throw a punch. Instead, there was just a cold, measuring stare, and then Lucci turned away. Coby had the intuition that this guy never lost his temper, but if he wanted someone dead, it was time to think about wills and next of kin. 

Garp grinned around his pipe. "Have a good trip back, Lucci. If you got any more concerns, well, remember I have what they call 'an open door policy'; make sure it don't hit you in the backside on your way out."

Lucci glanced over his shoulder and gave the barest nod as if he was actually acknowledging that. His expression was terrifyingly...thoughtful. Coby had the feeling Garp was now on a short list of people with similarly short life expectancies, but the old sea-dog just scratched his beard and smirked.

Lucci gathered the other two men with a glance. The long-nosed one released Coby and Helmeppo and stepped away. "No hard feelings, Sergeant, Master Sergeant," he murmured, as if it was all in a day's work. The other guy had dropped Garp's bodyguard like a discarded gunny sack. Coby thought he'd heard Bogart groan, which hopefully meant the man he'd come to consider a friend these past few months wasn't too seriously injured. 

Lucci didn't say anything about being back, or that Garp would hear more about this. The three of them left without a word. The silence was chilling and spoke of reckonings to come.

As soon as the door closed, Coby and Helmeppo rushed over to the fallen bodyguard, who was already stirring, to their relief. 

"Who the hell were they?" Helmeppo muttered, with a hostile glance at the door. "Shouldn't we raise the alarm?"

"I doubt that'll do any good." Coby rubbed his aching neck. "I just hope they didn't hurt anybody else."

"Boys. Come here."

Helmeppo quickly stripped off his coffee-stained vest, put it under the bodyguard's head and joined Coby in front of the Vice Admiral's desk. 

"Sir? What shall we do?" Coby blurted out. "They're after Luffy-san. And they know- I think they know about you two. What if they come back? And what if they catch up with Luffy-san's ship?!"

"Feh, that'll be the brat's look-out." Garp's eyes hadn't left the door. "If it makes you feel any better, the blasted grandkid's already kicked Lucci's ass once. Which I have to say _almost_ impressed me. Forget about it. A man's gotta sail his course to the end. Now, I want you to listen to me, boys, and I want you to listen real closely, because this is very important if you want to become the kind of marines you've decided to become."

Both junior officers leaned forward attentively. That just made it easier for Garp to grab them both by the collars and haul them over the desk until they were an inch away from a very loud shout that punched their eardrums. "Get this down, you squabs! If I ever - _ever_ \- hear either of you say 'the end justifies the means', I'll knock your heads together so hard your teeth will relocate to your torso. _Got it?!_ "

"Sir yes sir!" the boys shouted, basic survival and Garp having drilled those words into their brains until they popped out by reflex. 

"Good." The pair staggered as they were shoved away. By the time they got their footing back, the Admiral was lounging in his chair once more. "Now go get me my brew. Don't bother with the dark stuff, just put in the brandy. I got a bad taste in my mouth I need to wash out. Go."

"Sir yes sir!" 

Coby and Helmeppo stopped just long enough to help the bodyguard to the couch and promise the recovering man they'd return with some aspirin, and then they ran out of the office.

They both leaned back against the door as soon as it was closed.

"Those guys...that bastard who had us by the neck...he used Soru to catch us," Helmeppo finally said.

"And Tekkai when you tried to stick him," Coby added grimly. "Something tells me he knows more than those two forms, too." He didn't even want to speculate about Lucci and what that creep was capable of.

"...Did I hear the Admiral right? CP _9_? There's only eight Cipher Pol agencies."

"That's what I always thought."

They exchanged a look, and then they both glanced over their shoulders at the office of the crusty old man who'd taken two young loser chore-boys under his wing and whipped them into marines. 

"Let's go get the Admiral his brandy," Coby said. "And then let's go train."

"Right behind you, short stuff. Right behind you."

**Author's Note:**

> Didn't anybody else wonder how the rest of the government - especially a branch of Cipher Pol really out for Luffy's blood right now - reacted to Garp breezing in and out of Water 7 sans Straw Hat...? I just suddenly had this flash of Lucci going ballistic about it in a cold way, and Garp giving him the Monkey D attitude, and I just had to write it. Hope you enjoyed reading it ^_^


End file.
